I Need Help!
June 17, 2009
I need help this Wednesday!
I am the solo parent of a daughter well who has a father that sucks! He has not been a real part of her life ever.
She has no dad, no granddad and no father figure.
What do you do for a child like mine on Father’s Day?
That is my burning question and I need your help. Please let me know your thoughts.
Now I am off to read what just may be working in your life at We are That Family.
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Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Psa 89:26 He shall cry unto me, Thou art my father, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
Ask the Lord to be her father and teach her those verses. God is her father and loves her with a greater love than any man ever could- and her mother as well!
I agree, the Lord is her father. Could you consider dropping the hype about both Mother’s and Father’s day? We have both parents at our house, but we don’t ‘celebrate’ or even recognize these made up holidays.
Scripture has its place but really I am looking for practicals, an 11 yr old child doesn’t hang on scripture.
Someone once told me that whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, I need to go do something nice for someone else and see how long I continue to feel bad.
What if you had your daughter do something special for a resident at a nursing home or assisted living facility on Sunday? So many of the residents would love to have an 11-year-old show them attention and kindness.
Have you considered going to a nearby convalescent home or somewhere and doing something for all the dads there? There may be residents whose children aren’t able to visit, you could bake treats or make cards or just spend some time visiting.
YOU are the mom and the dad. You celebrate with her! It worked for my daughter. Mine is older, but we have the same problem. She wanted to know who was going to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day…I told her that I would proudly do that job as well.
I agree with BJ – my mom raised me alone, except for very infrequent, day-long visits by my father. I always made her Father’s Day cards in school because in my life, she was both parents rolled into one.
I love the idea of serving the ill or elderly fathers/ men in your town. You never know, you might warm someone’s heart who was forgotten by his children. Best wishes in however you choose to spend the day.
If you are fulfilling the role of mother & father, then I’d spend the day with her as the “father” just like you did on Mother’s day.
I am a single mother… I am the mother and father to my children. I would something together as a family or something similiar to what you would do on Mother’s Day. If your child is young, you don’t really need to do anything for Father’s Day.
Holly,
I feel for you as I am a mother of a 4 year old daughter. I too do not have a father figure in her life. I have thought about the idea of being “the mother and the father”, etc. but there are situations that come up. For instance, my daughter’s 5th birthday happens to fall on Father’s Day this year and it will be a big deal at church. Do I not go to church because she will feel left out with out a father? I was going to NOT go but changed my mind because it is the only place she has any father figures. And we will need to deal with father’s day because it comes up every year.
It is a what I consider a “Hallmark” holiday..one created by the card companies to make money…so I do try to keep that in mind.
It’s a hard thing..it just is…but if she is 11 then you’ve gotten through it before. I just want to send you love and support…and let you know that I identify.
I like the idea of spending the day with fathers whose children aren’t there to celebrate with them. You might find one in a nursing home, but men are scarce there. Another option is to serve a meal at a men’s homeless shelter. (My church does this one Sunday a month, and this year it’s on Father’s Day.) Think about how some of these men have been separated from their children by sad circumstances and all of them are separated from their fathers.