My first Christmas with family was good and all, really it was. I enjoyed time with family and my daughter Roo enjoyed her time with her teenage cousins. But more it made me ask some questions.
Christmas Day after the prezzies were all open and dinner was cooking, my sister and I took a walk. We started talking about how we feel about Christmas. In years past we were excited, we had the “Christmas spirit” but now we are actually glad to see the day behind us. No longer is there the sense that the day has meaning, or significance. It just isnt there. Infact Christmas Day we ended up at the movies because we wanted something to do. It just isnt the same anymore for me. I really dont buy into the notion that I need a special day to spend time with family, or that I need presents of any sort to enjoy life, or that I need a special day to remember Christ and his birth. So here I sit asking the question have I turned into a cynic?
The other question I am asking what is the sign of a true friend? Would a true friend at least wish you a happy birthday or merry christmas. I had what I thought was a great circle of friends in the big TO, since I moved here to Nova Scotia there has been little effort to stay in touch. I have called as my phone bills will prove yet since I moved here I can count on a few fingers the number of calls I have recieved. To be honest it has nade me a little sad. It seems these days people come and go in and out of our lives quite quickly and if you arent in the neighbourhood you are easy to forget. So how easy is it to forget old friends?
As I contemplate the end of 2008 I am feeling so many things. This year brought many changes to my life,some good, some not so good. What I feel is that I need a good kick in the pants to get some of me back. So how do I do this? I feel cynical, discouraged and plain ol frumpy. How do I get back the Hollie that loved life? How do I make the changes I feel are so needed?